A Strip Mall in Illinois and the Absurdity of Wisconsin

So, you’re driving in Wisconsin, a state that proudly boasts about its cheese and its football, and for eight minutes you’re a responsible citizen. You’re living under a set of laws that dictate what you can and can’t put in your body, all in the name of… well, let’s just say “public well-being.” But then, just a little jaunt over a state line, and you’re in a land of plenty. A strip mall, no less, becomes a veritable spiritual mecca for the modern age: a cannabis dispensary for your mind, a video poker lounge for your wallet, and a vape shop that isn’t beholden to the whims of the FDA and the big tobacco giants who pull their strings.

It’s almost as if Wisconsin is actively trying to become a historical footnote in the annals of missed opportunities. They see neighboring states raking in millions in tax revenue and they say, “No thank you. We’d prefer to keep our financial hands clean.” It’s an act of moral purity that would make a Puritan blush, except it’s not moral purity at all. It’s just bad business. It’s a refusal to adapt to a changing world, to look at the facts on the ground and say, “Maybe this is a good idea.”

This whole thing brings to mind a quote, though I’m not entirely sure who said it, but it’s a good one: “The most dangerous animal is a stubborn human.” And in this case, the stubborn human seems to be the entire state government of Wisconsin. They’re so obstinate in their ways, so unwilling to accept that the world has moved on, that they’re content to watch their citizens drive away, wallets in hand, to a more sensible, more prosperous, and frankly, more fun-loving state. They’ve turned a potential goldmine into a gaping hole in their budget, and for what? To protect us from… choices? It’s a kind of absurd paternalism that’s almost touching, if it weren’t so profoundly idiotic. So, let’s all raise a glass (of something legally purchased across the border) to Wisconsin, a state that proves that sometimes, the most profound spiritual journeys begin with a trip across a state line and end in a strip mall.